Scarlett's Diary

[Sw]

Scarlett's Diary
jeditheskyisblue
Scarlett's Diary
Author:Sw aka SkyblueSw
Disclaimer: I do not own Gone with the Wind, and just wrote this for fun and and am not making any money off of this.
AUTHOR's note : This story is not finished but sense I lost it once and finally was able to find these first few chapters I thought I would repost them here. I believe I did post some of this story before on my soon to be deleted Yahoo group. So enjoy them and please let me know of any grammars mistakes.

I hope one day to add to this Story that is why it isn't in the completed story thread.

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Mrs. Butler was a name that I believed only belonged to one woman that I had never met but felt sorry for because she gave birth to one of the most cruel men alive.

I had no reason to ever believe that one day that same name would be used for me. And if I had any other choice it never would have been. But desperate people would do anything to keep their home and land from being sold out for under them.

So here I stand in a house I never wanted with servants that always replied to everything I asked with “Yes’em Mrs. Butler”

I felt at the moment if I had to hear that one more time I would scream at whom ever spoke it. But knew I couldn’t because that was part of bargain I had struck with a certain black hair man that I hated more then anyone I have ever known.

If I wanted Tara to stay in the O’Hara family I had to act and more importantly be the perfect wife for one Rhett Butler. I, Katie Scarlett O’Hara Hamilton Butler had been brought and paid for. At least that’s what Rhett called it.

He would say he had brought himself a Wife and of course were their were wives children came along as well. One good thing I could say about Rhett was he loved Wade and treated my son as if he was his own. How do I know this you asks well after five years of marriage and three babies later Rhett didn’t treat Wade any different then the son I had given him two years ago.

Our youngest is just three months old and another daughter one that Rhett had named after me because of her green eyes which I had instead called Cat because of those same eyes. Our oldest was a daughter by the name of well it didn’t matter what I named her Rhett changed her name to Bonnie Blue Butler so I feel justified in changing Cat’s.

Our son I named Gerald after my Father, and of course Rhett started calling him Gerry saying he was to young to be called Gerald just yet. And of course Wade and Bonnie thought that was a wonderful idea and started calling their younger brother Gerry as well now the only one that calls him Gerald of course was me. Was it so wrong to want the child I named after my Father to actually be called by his given name. If you asks Rhett it was, he makes no sense sometimes that man could just make me want to scream for no reason another then his presences alone.

Of course like now when I could really use his help he’s off on one of his business trips. If I ever found out these trips of his won’t for business or for a business of a personal natural well lets just say I would be wearing black again.

Since moving to Charleston five years ago right after we we’re married Rhett ordered me to present myself as a lady “I won’t have you embarrass my Mother with you’re unlady like actions” had been the way he ordered it.

The House that I now call home was one Rhett picked for us on a business trip to Charleston a few weeks after we we’re married. The only good thing I can say about living in Charleston is none of my old enemies live here so no one looks down on me. Rhett on the other hand was not liked or received when we first arrived. But over time and him appearing to have changed his ways by having a Wife and children and raising a step-child as if he were his own flesh and blood well that changed they way Charleston’s elite saw Mr. Butler.

Now people look at Rhett and see someone who has changed their ways and became an Adult who they think regrets the things he had done in the past. Of course I know better Rhett doesn’t regret a single thing he had done if asked he would say that all of those things had lead him to became the man he is today.

The man that if he doesn’t come home soon will find that I’ve once again thrown his clothes into the fireplace. I have done this a total of five times in the last two years when Rhett promises to be home by a certain time and doesn’t get home until much later.

The first time he came home and found all his clothes gone and what was left of them in ashes he looked ready to kill. But after a few nightcaps and a few kisses from me all was forgiven and this started a little running joke between us. Now when I burn his clothes I make sure to leave Rhett a few days worth in order for there to be time for Rhett to have new clothes made. Sometimes I think Rhett would just stay gone a day longer so he would have a reason for some new suits. Of course this has made Rhett also telegram me more given times and dates when he would be home.

I don’t burn Rhett’s clothes because I miss him and don’t like his business trips. I do this because I’m his Wife even if he did buy me and if I have to live in Charleston and play nice to everyone including my Aunts all the time then the least Rhett Butler can do is be here having to do the same. That’s not a lot to asks of someone. Besides as much as I hate Rhett he is the only person in Charleston I can be myself around and not have to worry about doing or saying something wrong.

Next week Melly is coming for a visit she will be bringing Beau with her I haven’t seen him in three years I bet he’s grown so much. Ashley will not be coming he couldn’t get time away from work so for two weeks I will at least have some company of someone from home.

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Melly’s visit was to short that’s another thing I never thought I would think. She has such a way with children especially mine. They all wanted to be in her presences playing games with her all but Cat but she’s really too tiny right now to want anyone but Me or Rhett.

Rhett has stated that I’ve finally turned into a Mother since Cat’s birth because I decided this time I wanted to be the same Mother I pretended to be when everyone was around as I was behind closed doors.

Of course I told Rhett he was just being silly I have always been a Mother to all my children. To which he response that I needed to get a since of humor. Of course I knew he was being serious he always was telling me I should pay more attention to the children. But what Rhett doesn’t know is when he’s working all day I spend most of the days with the children their better company then most of the Ladies of Charleston.

Before Melly left she had confided in me that she wanted another baby. I of course tried to talk her out of that idea she almost died having Beau. But Melly is really stubborn so I’m not sure if she will listen to me or not. Rhett would be really surprised to learn I tried at all he’s still convinced that I’m in love with Ashley. I’m not sure when or how but my feelings for Ashley have changed from in love to just plain love you have for a friend.

If asked I would say the change started after I married Rhett, and Ashley and Melly moved up north so he could take that job at the Bank. That showed me that the only people Ashley really cared about we’re his Wife and Child. After all he left me to some how find a way to save Tara so that my whole family wouldn’t be homeless.

Marrying Rhett was the only thing I could do, now Tara is safe with Pa and Will running the place. Pa still isn’t right in the head completely but he has gotten better now he just thinks Mother is on a trip to visit Grandfather and he’s always waiting for her return.

Sullen married Frank and has two daughter one named Ellen that’s a few days older then Bonnie and another named Sue that just turned one last week. I haven’t gotten the chance yet to see little Sue because when she was born I was in the family way with Cat and couldn’t travel. And with Cat only being a little over three months she isn’t old enough to travel just yet. Perhaps in a few months when Rhett has another business trip to Atlanta we can all go together as a family.

I always loved going to Atlanta with Rhett to show Belle just who Mr. Butler belongs too just incase she gets any ideas. Of course the down side to this is Rhett can read me like a book and always knows this and teases me non stop about me being jealous of a Madam.

I just tell him as his Wife it’s my job to make sure everyone thinks were happily married and me coming on trips with him just shows that.

Rhett should know by now I don’t like to share my things even if I don’t love my husband I will not let him have a Mistress, I’ve given him three children and he’s always talking about when we have more so I think I deserve him to be faithful. And for some reason I truly believe he has been so far. But that doesn’t change the fact if he’s late I still will burn his clothes.

Bonnie did the cutest thing today she got into my closet and played dress up in my dresses. Of course once I found her in a green dress that I hadn’t had a chance to wear yet I decide it might be safer if I picked which dresses she should try on next.

Then Bonnie decided that since they were my dresses that I should try them on as well. So after a little while I decided that perhaps Bonnie would like to have some dresses made like mine for herself. And called for a dress maker to come after lunch. So when Rhett returned home later in the evening he found that all his girls’ as he calls Bonnie, Me, and Cat had new dresses being made and ready to pick up in two weeks time. Of course my idea of all of the Butler women dressing alike gave Rhett the idea of all of the men in the house should have matching suits. So tomorrow Rhett will be taking his sons’ to get them all fitted.

It seems that Wade and Gerald thought the idea of dressing like Rhett was wonderful. I have to agree with my sons’ that Rhett always is dressed nice.

I’ve started to notice something lately and it’s bothering me. I’m always thinking about Rhett when I’m not with the children or if I’m truthful even when I’m with them. I just don’t understand why though?

I see Rhett everyday expect when he’s on his trips and we get along as well as we ever have. He had taking to teasing me again about silly things really. And I’ve decided to allow this without letting my Irish temper get in the way, because Rhett is always fun when he was in a playful mood.

Living with him for over five years has taught me a lot about my Husband. He doesn’t like lies and would rather I just tell him the most outrageous thing then to cover it up with a little white lie. Like the time I broke a vase his Mother had given us and not wanting to seem thoughtless about it brought another to cover the fact up. Rhett was anger that I ‘lied’ to him about buying the new vase as a present for Sullen.

Since then I always tell Rhett if anything like that has happened again. And when you live with children of course this type of things has happened many times. Just last week Gerald broke the same vase I had all the trouble with Rhett over. This time though Rosemary, my sister in law and Rhett’s only sister was visiting and saw the whole thing. So now the vase isn’t going to be able to be replaced without Mrs. Butler knowing about it.

Gerald felt awful about breaking the vase and cried his little eyes out Rosemary of course took him in her arms letting him know that she would make sure that Grandmother Butler wouldn’t be upset with him.

Rosemary sometimes can be a godsend other times I wish I could give her a piece of my mind. She’s convinced that I somehow tricked Rhett into marrying me because as Rosemary says ‘Rhett wasn’t the marrying kind’. Let me just say I heard that enough from Rhett I don’t need to hear that for anyone else.

I’m hoping that the next baby, Rhett and I have will be a boy. No I’m not pregnant yet but given our history it will happen sometime. And I have a name already picked out Rhett Jr. I know that name will drive Rhett up the wall and there isn’t anyway he can get out of it after having named Cat, Katie.

Perhaps wanting to name our future son after his Father just to get a raise out of him isn’t something a lady would do then again I’m not a lady.

Rhett has promised to take me on a second honeymoon in a few weeks to make up for not spending enough time with me these last few months. I’m not going to complain anytime I’m allowed to leave Charleston I don’t really care why or where I’m going.

I’m starting to think some of those business trips Rhett goes on is just to get out of Charleston the town drives him crazy and it only took me five years to figure that out. I feel stupid for not seeing that sooner. But really I’ve been busy taking care of the kids or being pregnant. Rhett can really hide how he’s feeling behind that poker face of his.

I’ve decided that I’m going to asks Rhett if he would like to take a extended trip somewhere anywhere really just to get out of Charleston for a extended period of time.

This second honeymoon idea of Rhett’s sounds nice but it would only allow us to leave for a month perhaps two and we couldn’t bring all the children with us. My idea would have us all take a trip together. And Rhett could show the children the places he’s always telling them stories about. I know that Rosemary and Mrs. Butler would miss us terrible but we wouldn’t be gone forever and perhaps they could come along as well.

I just hope when I voice this idea Rhett doesn’t think I’m trying to get out of the bargain we made. It’s been five years of living in Charleston not to mention three children later if that doesn’t pay for Tara I don’t know what would. Besides Rhett himself wants to leave Charleston for awhile I’m sure.

As long as I don’t suggest going up north where Ashley and Melly live I’m sure Rhett will approve us all leaving for awhile. In truth I really don’t have any need or want to see Ashley yes if I saw him I would be happy after all he’s been in my life as long as I can remember. But that romance longing has long since disappeared and if I’m honesty with myself Rhett has long since taken that longing over.